Sunday, December 22, 2013

My Very Best Thing

Back in September, over Labor Day weekend, we spent the night in a cabin in the woods. It was a lovely little place that belongs to a friend's family, and we had a great time simply relaxing and enjoying each other's company. The cabin was comfortable, but it was a cabin, and as such, barely qualified as having more than one room, apart from the bathroom. And so the night spent there afforded us a rare and special opportunity to watch Ben sleep.

Since he got old enough to go to sleep without one of us holding him, neither Karin or I gets much chance to see Ben sleep. He has never been one of those children that will simply fall asleep anywhere when he gets tired, so pretty much all of his sleeping gets done behind the closed door of his bedroom. And, as any parent knows, you don't go into your sleeping child's bedroom unless you really, really have to risk it.

So there he was, sleeping, and Karin and I were staring at him, and I had a thought: "He is my very best thing." He is the very best thing I have ever made, ever done, ever had. We had found out about baby number 2 only 3 weeks earlier, and I stood there joyous in the knowledge that I would have another such thing, another precious, beautiful, deeply flawed, but still perfect little person. That baby was so far off then, but in the meantime we have seen pictures of her, we have found her name, and, just tonight, Olive kicked me for the very first time.

These days Ben tends to get yelled at if he kicks me, but 5 and a half years ago, it was all I wanted him to do. I felt Ben for the first time when when he was 22 weeks and some odd days along, and so I was a bit anxious that Olive hit 23 weeks today and I still hadn't felt her. But tonight after dinner she was doing a bit of a jig, so I just laid there with my hand on Karin's belly, and watched Elf, and let the happy tears run down my face.


This picture is actually from a trip we took last February. It was a similar joy watching him sleep then,

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